Hello. The past couple of days have been a little rough I started feeling really sick on Monday, and ended up spending the day in my room. That alone is frustrating, because I only have a finite amount of time here and don't want to waste it. At a time that I just wanted to chill, people kept coming in and insisting I eat. I wanted to scream, "this food will not make me feel better! This food is the problem!" Yesterday I was still not feeling great, but this group from America is here for three days so i had to play tour guide. they are fun, though, and showing them around helped keep my mind off the crazy churning in my stomach. Today I am feeling better. I am pretty much okay as long as I don't eat too much and drink lots of water. Also, a lizard fell into my hair.

Not to continue being a downer, but I am noticing more and more this pervasive undercurrent of violence here. Yesterday in the dining hall, I saw one of the wardens (a women who lives there and is sort of in charge) take her stick and hit a plate out of the hands on another woman while yelling at her in front of the kids. I went up to her and asked why she did it. She said something about her not giving this baby a bath often enough, and I said that that is something that should be talked about, and hitting her plate was completely unnecessary. We went back an forth for a while until I just told her that she was being awful and left. They know not to do this in front of the volunteers, but we also see mothers hitting their kids. Not a 'you are being naughty so I'm giving you a little tap on the tush'. The kids just stand there and get smacked. And lots of the kids are rough with each other, because that is the only way that they have been taught to deal with conflict. It is a very sad situation without an easy solution. I have reported it and try to stop it whenever I see it, but that doesn't guarantee anything. It's just so hard to see a place that I really care about with such a culture of violence.

So that is the bad news. The good news is that I am trying to continue to stay open to all of the experiences that await me. And remind myself that difficult is different than impossible, that no one promised me this would be easy. And I am still doing okay. There continue to be enough stories, hugs and shared experiences to make being here seem worthwhile.